When you’re not capable or willing to let go of that what you and others think, define you, you will never fully experience a sense of self.
Most of us believe that a certain skill or aspect of their lives, whether it be their job, a hobby, a dozen throphies or a physical feature, is the measurement to which we compare our selfbeing. Not only is this tremendously shallow, it is by nature false.
Your personality may depend on it, because personality is that what others perceive. The self however is an absolute and does not need nurture because of its absolute state. It cannot be changed in a way our personalities can change.
Your value in this world is as big as it is small and it is by no means represented through any of the above. If letting go of your expensive car, successful job or crazy hot girlfriend makes you feel less about yourself, it does not mean that these things gave you your worth. It only means that you have not yet found who you are and what the essence of your self is. I would actually go as far as saying that the self is the essence. I remember Sadhguru saying that the self is the basis of all creation. Whether you agree or not is not really relevant, but it is good to think about the self as a starting point of all things. Not to confuse the self with a personality or character. These are all perceptions that others have of you and that you should have as little as possible.
You see, to desperately cling onto the things in your life in order to maintain some sort of feeling of existence, is an empty way of living. Grow to become larger than any ‘thing’ and aspire to see both the value and worthlessness in the very same thing.
Because what this doesn’t mean is that you should not try and set new goals. I actually mean the opposite. Buy that expensive car, enjoy fame, grow a physique, show off with your sexy ass girlfriend and then, drop it. All. Lose the car. Donate the money. Live in a flat. Eat chicken instead of steak. Wear a t shirt, not a suit. And see if it changes you. If it does, then all of these trivialities have defined you. You have become your personality and there is no longer a distance between your personality and the self.
YOU ARE NOT THE THINGS YOU OWN OR THAT WHAT PEOPLE SEE.
Reckon this: If none of us ever saw a Van Gogh painting, would he not have been a painter? *Be cautious not to blow your mind on that one*